It’s official: I need surgery. Sometime next week, not sure when yet. Whee!

It’s pretty insane how much my left leg atrophied over three weeks. It really looks like it’s from a different person, particularly when compared to my right leg which has been carting my fat ass around all this time.

I’d post pictures but a) the pictures don’t really capture the difference and b) my leg still looks pretty hideous given that it was imprisoned for weeks.

The small solace is that I can at least hobble in the boot until the surgery. The pegleg will sit to the side, since I’ll need it for another 3 weeks after the surgery. But for now: Hobbling.

The leg hurts like a motherfucker (I’m sure all the muscular atrophy isn’t helping matters there), and I’m still supposed to keep it elevated pretty much all the time, but at least I can take out the trash now.

Yay?

A few small pieces of flotsam and jetsam, Krazy-glued together into one for your convenience.

1. Doc’s taking off the cast tomorrow, so I find out if (*cough cough* when *cough cough cough*) I need surgery. At least I’ll finally be able to scratch this itch on the outside of my leg that’s been driving me nuts for days.

2. I really have got to figure out why my apartment heats up faster than my damn oven. I’m trying some heat control window film (if I can figure out how to get it on there) on the giant front window to see if that helps, but if it’s getting to be 80 inside when it’s not even 70 outside? I’m fucked when it’s 100 outside.

3. That guitar at the end of the episode that aired tonight? I have been lusting over that exact guitar for six years. I almost bought one when it was cheaper, but then I had to replace my car’s entire exhaust system, and away went my guitar fund. When they took that sucker out of the box, I was green with envy. When it was played by a talented guitarist, I was even more jealous, because it sounds fucking amazing. The prop department has put me On Notice that if it goes missing, they’re coming after me. Probably prudent of them.

Next time you go on a giant trip, try not to take two years to label all 1100 pictures, because you might not remember much by the time you try to finally do it.

In related news, I’m back to putting up more of my 400ish best photos from my trip to Europe with Mark two years ago. I’ve gotten up through the Netherlands, I hope to have Denmark and at least part of Germany up in the next few days.

I had several people ask me why, instead of the pegleg, I didn’t just get a scooter.

These assholes are a big part of why not. The other part is I don’t think I could get one of those things up the stairs.

Despite the arguments in favor of the remote with big orange flames painted on it, I decided to go a different direction in my choice of TiVo reward:

I do like that I can jam one on over my cast to keep my toes warm. Chaplin? Not impressed:

Viewer Alert #1: We are not on tomorrow, our finale (which my boss directed) is on next Tuesdday (9/8 central!).

Viewer Alert #2: A girl I went to high school with has won the current round of The Bachelor. Though we weren’t friends or anything, I certainly remember her as being very nice, albeit a few light bulbs short of a chandelier.

Still, good for her, if she really does like the guy once all the trappings of TV are gone. I have met people who have met through stupider methods and are still happy. It’ll certainly make the reunion a bit more amusing.

The next time someone asks me what it’s like to live in Los Angeles with all the celebrities you can see, I am going to direct them to this page.

The writer has perfectly captured the grand “I don’t give a fuck about these morons anymore” feeling you get after about a year here.

via Defamer

Having spoken to precisely two people in person in the last week and a half, including my neighbor who came up to tell me that anytime I ran water in my apartment her kitchen was flooding, it was nice to have Miss Cleo come by tonight.

However, I’ve been so starved for human contact, I fear I may have become this guy:

Rhetorical Pleasantry Elicits 45-Minute Response

KANSAS CITY, MO-”When he put his hand on my shoulder, I knew it would be a while,” recalled Harding, who could not escape from the monologue.

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I’m strongly considering declaring “for the sake of my sanity” a legitimate reason to leave the house.

I have a bunch of TiVo rewards points, since I’m such a TiVo-hugger that I’ve influenced several others to purchase TiVos. Crappily, however, these points expire after 24 months, and a bunch of mine are about to expire.

And so we come to my dilemma, what to do with my TiVo rewards points. Here are my options:

1. Drop all my points on an iPod shuffle, which I will then either sell on eBay (currently going for about $50-60) or find some random use for.

2. Use the portion of my points that are expiring on hilariously goofy TiVo branded slippers and save the rest (the rest will not expire for another 18 months, and I can put them towards things like…more TiVos).

3. Use the portion of my points that are expiring on a new remote with orange flames to match one of my guitars and save the rest.

4. Just let the points expire and stop filling my house with useless crap.

Being the horrifically indecisive person that I am, I keep waffling on which option to choose.

To put this to an end, I fling open the comment box and request your input: What useless crap shall enter my house next?

It’s called the “it takes a lot of effort and pain to get up” diet.

It forces you to ask yourself: Exactly how hungry am I? Generally, the answer is: Okay, not that hungry. Also, ow.