I’m sorry I got on a plane (aka Germ Transportation Module) at 7am and flew across the country while you were battling some throat/sinus crud.

I’m sorry I enjoyed some booze and generally had a life on vacation while the throat/sinus crud got worse.

I’m sorry I somehow managed to get pinkeye on top of the throat/sinus crud.

I’m sorry I then got back on another plane, again at 7am, again transcontinentally, this time with throat/sinus crud and pinkeye.

But seriously, I’ve been home doing nothing but sleeping and using the cat as a heating pad for two and a half days.

Can we please do something to actually get the throat/sinus crud and pinkeye out? I know you must be just as tired of them as I am. Please let me know ASAP.

Love,
Me.