I’ve got assorted parental units in town starting today in celebration of Dad’s 70th birthday tomorrow. Weirdness alert: My boss’s mom recently turned 70 as well. I suppose that’s what happens when you wait to have kids until you’re 45.

Speaking of weird, did anyone else watch Jericho (shut up, it’s the most unintentionally hilarious show on television) and notice that Aasif Mandvi from the Daily Show was the doctor? That was just bizarre, especially because he was randomly using a British accent.

I love my mom, but one of her odder habits is that she hums Christmas carols. Like, 365 days a year. And not even the whole tune, but one phrase, over and over and over again (specifically the title phrase of “Walkin’ in a Winter Wonderland”).

I’m not even sure she’s aware she’s doing it, and this is where my troubles come in.

I’m up to my eyeballs in Christmas crap for work (*cough* back at 9pm tuesdays after baseball! *cough*) right now, and it is seeping into every corner of my brain.

While finally cleaning out my overflowing inbox, I started singing to myself. And it was only when I got an entire verse in, I realized what I was singing.

I’m dreaming of a white Christmas,
Just like the ones I used to know
Where those treetops glisten
And children listen
To hear sleigh bells in the snow…

And then I put my head down on my desk and said softly, “Oh dear god, it’s starting.”

First, there was the whole issue of the bad timing of my trip to Atlanta. Then when I came back, the cat decided I was a chew toy.

Now, we have the trifecta: Disease!

All my Atlanta-based relatives came over for brunch on Sunday afternoon, and I got to hold Elias, my 5-month old nephew, who I hadn’t yet met.

Elias was kind enough to sneeze directly in my face, covering me in baby spit. I asked if he’s been sick lately and his parents chose that point to tell me “Oh…uh, yeah, he’s got a cold.”

I thought I’d managed to avoid Sneezing Baby Disease when I felt fine all day Sunday and all day yesterday. I woke up this morning feeling shittier than usual, but shrugged it off.

Then when I got to work, I got into a steep downward spiral, rapidly losing energy and the ability to even hold myself upright.

I couldn’t even finish half of my lunch. Anyone who knows me (or has seen my Wide Load ass) knows that’s a big old red flag. I decided to go home.

I emailed my parents to let them know, and pointed out to my dad the potential red flag of Elias sneezing on me.

I got an email back within 20 minutes: Max, Elias’ older brother, had just tested positive for strep throat. I immediately went to the bathroom mirror and looked at my tonsils, which were huge.

So I called the doctor to try and set up an appointment to get a strep test, and after a long and ridiculous argument trying to get myself in to get tested today, they gave me the first appointment tomorrow.

Of course, given the way this week has been going, I’ll probably turn out to have malaria instead.