Here are the results:

Yep, that worked out well.

THINGS I LIKE

- This American Life’s podcast this week, aptly titled “Another Frightening Show About The Economy.” You can download it for free from that page for the rest of the week, and it’s a much, much clearer explanation of what in the hell is going on with the economy than I’ve heard from any other place thus far. Really fascinating stuff.

- Google’s Gmail Goggles. If you’re going to send a late-night email from Gmail, you can now enable a new feature that will ask you to answer a series of relatively basic math questions in a short period of time to prove that you’re not too a) drunk or b) tired to be emailing someone.

- USAA Checking. Sweet god, Deposit @ Home is awesome. You scan a check with a normal scanner, you upload it, and then you’re done. You can walk over to an ATM 20 minutes later and withdraw the cash, which is REALLY convenient when that check is your petty cash advance from work. And USAA reimburses you for the ATM fees since they’re an internet-only bank.

THINGS I DO NOT LIKE

- The nights I just can’t seem to get out of the office. We had pages drop right as we wrapped tonight, and when I should normally be getting out of the office by half an hour after wrap, I wasn’t done until almost 2 hours after wrap.

- The fact that every muscle in my body is seriously pissed at me right now. I ordered a footrest for the office which should help prevent me from hunching over my computer, but between being the Hunchback of Notre Lot and working out like a crazy person, my body is hating on me right now.

- Waking up in the middle of a REM cycle, which I did this morning, and which made me drowsy, cranky, and off the ball all morning.

THINGS I’M UNDECIDED ABOUT

- I mentioned this to a few people, but for some reason two different guys in my office asked me if I was ex-military this week. Apparently I have a military precision about me, according to them. Frankly, I think it’s just because I know the alpha-bravo-charlie alphabet and use it to be clearer on the phone. That, and I keep making my PA’s drop and give me 20.

- I’m pretty clearly not going to make my goal of getting my weight loss total to 80 pounds by Halloween. At least not unless I get some sort of serious gastrointestinal illness like the one striking half of USC. However, I’ve already lost 70 and will hopefully be in the 73-75 range by the end of the month. I’m debating whether I should be happy about this, since it’s so close to my goal and weight loss slows as you lose more weight anyway, or frustrated with the slowing pace. I think for the sake of my sanity, I’ll go with the former.

1. Someone needs to tell these damn kids that National Coming Out Day is October 11th, not September 23rd.

2. And now for a wee game of What’s Wrong With This Screenshot, courtesy of British Airways (click to enlarge):

Usually their fares taunt me. Porbably for the best that I don’t even know how cheap it is now.

• Went sea kayaking with my friend Lisa this morning, which was great fun. We paddled at least 2-3 miles up the coast from the Malibu pier, and it was a really gorgeous day for it, too. However, I forgot how much seawater fucking stings when you get it in your eyes, and I also didn’t realize how much kelp that’s about three feet underwater could look like a shark. It did not help that I recently re-watched Jaws.

• Between the opening and closing ceremonies, are there any fireworks left in China? I know it’s the country that invented them, but man, that was an awful fucking lot of fireworks.

• Man, the Chinese do know how to put on a show. Between the fantastic opening ceremonies and the very nice closing ceremonies, the organizers of London 2012 must have been watching that and going, “…oh, bloody hell.” Particularly since the Jimmy Page and Leona Lewis portion of events was (with the arguable exception of Jackie Chan singing) the most flagrantly goofy part of the closing ceremony that often came across as a cross between Cirque de Soleil and Starlight Express.

• I’m sort of sad to see the Olympics go, since they were a wonderful, wonderful diversion from the fact that there is nothing good on television right now except Mad Men. However, I’m glad they’re going now, since I just did my annual “How the hell am I going to TiVo everything I want to watch?” spreadsheet and have determined that, at least before I start deleting things that suck, I have 26 hours of TV a week on my prime-time schedule. I think the “cancel season pass” key is going to have to be merciless this year, because I am not going to have time to actually watch all that.

• So speaking of television, does anybody have any desire for me to do a few TV reviews like I did last year? I basically talked about new shows as I watched them (making sure to divulge the ever-increasing number of shows I have friends working on), some briefly, some at greater length. Did you guys actually find that shit interesting, or was it like, “Dude…you watch too much TV”?

Finally, I have a job interview tomorrow, so hopefully these bullet pointed posts whining about how I’m bored stiff will soon be replaced with ones whining about how exhausted and overworked I am. Fingers crossed!

• Tropic Thunder is fucking hilarious. I’m glad I went and saw it, although I’m not glad that my current financial situation dictates that I get one night out approximately every two weeks.

• The Olympics being on a tape delay to the West Coast is fuckin’ weak. Kills the suspense in all the swim stuff I like watching when every newspaper I read online has the results up before the races are even shown here.

• I really need a job. Like, now. It is extremely difficult not to wallow for a bit when you realize that you’ve been unemployed for a quarter of the year and are damn close to being unemployed for a third of it.

• I would really appreciate it if my apartment would cool down enough for me to be able to cook without almost passing out. That would be helpful.

• You will be genuinely shocked to learn that I am so bored that I’m actually reading books. You will not be shocked to learn that most of these books are ones that have been made into movies, and that one of the others was the new David Sedaris, which is awesome.

Anyway, it’s about time for some more tape-delayed Olympics, but hopefully some interesting (or at least amusing) shit will happen this week.

I need a hobby.

– Because we were on a Wednesday-Sunday shooting schedule, I had taken to calling each day “Fake ____”. Like Wednesday was Fake Monday, Thursday was Fake Tuesday, Friday was Fake Wednesday.

Today, the last day I have to deal with this shift, I found a flaw in my cunning plan: I forgot that it was Fake Wednesday, not real Wednesday, and that therefore the aqua aerobics class would be taking over the pool at 9 instead of 9:30, and got kicked out of the pool halfway through my laps.

– Are you really really bored? Try to identify the candy bar simply by looking at a cross-section. I went 14 for 20.

– I am extremely excited to see Wall-E tomorrow. Almost as excited as I am to actually have a Saturday off.

–Our entertainment this evening was chasing the mouse that lives in the kitchen all over the office. My PA was taking videos of this with his cellphone, one of which has me saying in the background, “Well, the mystery guy who lost his clothes finally called back.”

No, I will not be posting these videos.

–We finally finished shooting!

This has been a fun show, and a very good learning experience. The shifted week thing has been an absolute bear, but at least it was only for three weeks. I pulled a couple sixth-day paychecks, which is helpful in the realm of “Mama needs a new pair of everything.”

I’m back to a normal schedule for the next couple weeks (well, I’ll be in for a couple hours Sunday, but nothing like my schedule previous sundays of 5pm-5am), and then I’m scrambling for a new job. Gotta love the freelance world!

I will note a few random things I’ve noticed in the last few days:

- Chaplin falling asleep on my chest means I will, without fail, be asleep within 15 minutes as well.

- If ever you’re cleaning out your apartment and you find old letters or printed-out emails from your ex, for the love of god, do not start to read them. Save them if you must, but shove them in the drawer before you start reading them. Do not do that to yourself.

- I have to vacuum up dirt and cat hair substantially more often now that I have hardwood floors, but I doubt there was actually any less dirt or cat hair when I had carpet. I’m not grossed out by much, but that thought grosses me out just a bit.

- Apparently the new guy next door to me is some sort of classical pianist. It’s kind of interesting when the music bleeding in matches up with whatever movie or TV show I’m watching. And sometimes its hilarious when he’s playing some delicate thing while I’m watching an action movie.

- No matter how much food I buy for a party, it’s inevitably way, way too much, and I wind up freezing a bunch of meat and throwing out a bunch of buns. I just cannot get the calculus right.

- I have several hundred DVDs, most of which I never watch, so I thought I could sell some to bring in some extra money. But combing through them, I can only find about a dozen that I’m actually willing to part with, most of which will not bring me a damn dime because nobody else wants to watch them either.

Vacuum Carrot Elephant Meteor Backpack

There’s something eloquent in the utter randomness.