As someone working in scripted TV production…holy shit, this is bad news: NBC is replacing its entire 10pm hour with a nightly prime-time hour of Jay Leno.

If you look purely at the numbers, it absolutely makes sense for fourth-place NBC, whose ratings have completely tanked this year due to the fact that they put on some atrocious, atrocious television shows this fall, and who just completely gutted the ranks of their execs:

Though Mr. Leno will command an enormous salary, probably more than $30 million a year, the cost of his show will be a fraction of what a network pays for dramas at 10 p.m. Those average about $3 million an episode. That adds up to $15 million a week to fill the 10 p.m. hour. Mr. Leno’s show is expected to cost less than $2 million a week.

So let’s run some math here. Leno does about 46 weeks worth of shows, and at $2 mil a week that’s about $92 mil a year. Scripted shows do 22 episodes each, at 5 per week and $3 mil apiece that’s $330 mil a year. This change stands to save NBC Universal $238 million annually.

Let me repeat that: Paying Jay Leno $30 million a year will save NBC Universal almost a quarter billion dollars a year.

And for those of us on the scripted side of things, where network work has already been getting squeezed out by cheaper reality shows, this is a HUGE blow. Work has already been slowing because of the recession and the impending SAG strike.

For NBC to summarily declare they’re going to give up 5 hours a week is a brutal addition to the litany of problems facing everyone who works in scripted television. There are already too many people and not enough work to go around, and this is just going to make it infinitely worse.

I’m hopeful that cable’s going to continue to pick up the slack, but cable shows are, unfortunately, usually quite a bit less stable employment than network. Cable shows do 13-15 episodes in a normal season, or about 5-7 months worth of work. Networks shoot 22-24, or about 9-10 months worth of work.

Being on a good show on a network is almost like having a real job: If you’re in the office, you work almost year-round. If you’re in cable, you tend to bounce more from show to show, and it’s harder to form a team because everyone’s getting rotated into different schedules.

Anyway, we’ll see what happens. The common thread I’m finding in most commentary is that it’s a plan born of desperation on the part of NBC, but it brings to mind one of my favorite quotes from my favorite movie of all time, The Great Escape:

Now why didn’t anyone think of that before? It’s so stupid, it’s positively brilliant!

Laz brought the extent of this situation to my attention, and the mind-boggling stupidity of it really floored me.

Sean Avery is a hockey player, something of a ladies’ man, and kind of a charming jackass, if that’s not a complete contradiction in terms. He said the following to some reporters before a game against Calgary:

I am really happy to be back in Calgary, I love Canada. I just want to comment on how it’s become like a common thing in the NHL for guys to fall in love with my sloppy seconds. I don’t know what that’s about. Enjoy the game tonight.

The “sloppy seconds” bit was a knock on either of a couple of actresses that Avery has dated (most suspicion is falling on Elisha Cuthbert of 24 fame, who’s currently dating a member of the Calgary Flames).

Now just reading that, you’d think the guy was being a bit of a smartass, trying to rile up his opponents. The NHL has reacted as if this were Victorian England and Avery had just impugned the chastity of the wives of the entire front office.

Avery actually got suspended for this comment. And what’s even worse, certain news outlets are bleeping or blanking out the phrase “sloppy seconds,” to my mind for no other purpose than to make his comment look way more offensive than it actually was.

When I heard about the suspension, I hadn’t seen his actual comments, so I thought he’d called her a cunt. Which is a significantly more offensive term to most women than “sloppy seconds.”

He’s not going to be winning himself any prizes other than Douche of the Week for publicly referring to his ex as “sloppy seconds.” I certainly wouldn’t like to be referred to as such, since I find the term obnoxious.

But to call it so offensive as to warrant a suspension is such a ridiculous stretch that I seriously can’t believe the NHL even considered it, let alone actually suspended the dumb guy.

I know there are a few other ovaried persons out there reading this, so I’ll throw it open to the comments: Do you find “sloppy seconds” to be offensive, obnoxious, both, or somewhere in between?

The L.A. Times ran a brilliant editorial today, picking off one by one the arguments for Proposition 8, which seeks to amend the California state constitution to ban gay marriage.

However, they should probably consider turning off their context-based advertising on their editorials. Because with contextual advertising, you end up with screenshots like this (click to enlarge):

I’m not exactly crushed that the Yes on 8 dipshits aren’t getting their money’s worth here, but it does make the Times look a bit silly.

October 3, 1995

I was in the student lounge of my high school in D.C., where they’d dragged a bunch of TVs so we could all watch the O.J. verdict. They knew people would cut class to go find TVs elsewhere and watch it anyway, so the administrators just threw up their hands and let us watch.

The reaction to the “not guilty” verdict was mixed at my private, relatively white high school - I recall my own reaction being, “Well, they took that little time to deliberate after such a long trial, that’s pretty much the only verdict they could have come up with.” I was a very cynical 14 year old with a lawyer for a father.

There wasn’t any celebration as far as I remember, but there also wasn’t as much anger as I saw later on the news from a lot of people. The overriding reaction I recall from my schoolmates was a reinforcement of the idea that if you have enough money and good enough lawyers, you can always buy reasonable doubt. For once, it wasn’t about race. It was about money.

Some people (namely, those whose families had a LOT of money) were a little too reassured by that.

October 3, 2008

I’ve been neck-deep in work all week, so I’ve barely been able to keep up with the most basic aspects of the news. I remembered seeing something this morning about the case going to the jury, but then I got sucked into yet another giant fiasco involving internet not working in one critical area, and half my day was gone.

Then, about 10pm, I heard a crackle on the walkie, “Hey, they’re about to announce the verdict.” Confusion ensued, since there were a number of people who hadn’t even realized the trial was going on. And then, apparently from a guy with a wireless connection and a Slingbox: Guilty on all counts.

Before it was even up on any website. Most sites were still just getting breaking-news briefs that a verdict had even been reached up before it was announced. So the walkies scooped the internet. A truly bizarre chain of events.

Not as bizarre as the chain that landed O.J. back in the defendant’s chair, and now probably in jail for the rest of his life. But still, pretty damn odd.

This amusing headline on the CNN website was pointed out to me by Joel earlier today:

They have located the most innocuous-looking lesbians in America for their story about how same-sex marriage will be a huge economic boon to California.

I am amused at how much their dog looks like an angry, surly old man, though. “Goddamn kids and their gay weddings. Now they’re going to spend their lives looking at flower arrangements instead of playing fetch…”

Also, I laughed out loud when I read this:

Susan Goldman, a wedding photographer, registered the domain name biggayweddings.com a month ago so she could market her services to same-sex couples.

…since I’ve referred to every same-sex wedding and/or commitment ceremony I’ve attended as a Big Gay Wedding.

Now that Memorial Day weekend has passed, can we please, please, please agree to abandon the term “Stay-cation”?

The media have grown awfully fond of this term in the last few weeks, as a way to describe people who are putting off vacation plans and staying at home because it’s so ridiculously fucking expensive to go anywhere.

But really, of all the people who didn’t go anywhere, how many of them were like me: Never had any plans to go anywhere in the first place, and just cherished the chance to get a little more sleep?

I don’t know why the term annoys me so, but I feel like spending an extra day sitting on the couch and not getting nearly as much done as I should is not really something that deserves its own dippy term.

Clearly, none of us have anything on this guy.

If you thought the incidents where various American companies lost laptops with 300,000 or 400,000 people’s financial information were bad, then be very thankful you don’t live in Britain.

Because either way, it’s true:

Barry Bonds Home-Run Scandal Somehow Becomes Feel-Good Sports Story Of Summer

SAN FRANCISCO—Although Barry Bonds remains the target of criticism over his possible—some say almost certain—use of performance-enhancing substances, the fact that Bonds has not been implicated in dogfighting, nightclub…

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Best quote?

“Bonds is not exactly my hero,” said Braves fan Bradley Hanson, who flew to San Francisco for Monday night’s Braves game in order to pointedly not boo Bonds. “But he’s a reminder that in these troubled times for sports, there are still players whose crimes are simple, pure, and only tarnish our beloved sport and everything it stands for without killing anybody.”