The rather brilliant Hank Steuver, kicking off his hilarious review of new daytime talk show The Wendy Williams Show:

What should be on television in the middle of the day? What should fill the space between all those commercials for personal-injury attorneys, cures for urinary-tract infections and the promises of vo-tech schooling? Should anything be on? (Is “off” an option anymore, even in hospitals?)

All the available genres nearly died or migrated to niche networks — game shows, sitcom reruns, soaps, cooking demonstrations, local chatter. What programming remains will make you thank your lucky stars that you aren’t infirm or underemployed. The sound of a television turned on at high noon is the sound of utter human defeat. (The drone never ceases with the ads: bad credit, bad floors, bad living.)

As someone who is under-to-unemployed and on occasion turns on live TV in the middle of the day: Ye gods, is he ever right.

Laz brought the extent of this situation to my attention, and the mind-boggling stupidity of it really floored me.

Sean Avery is a hockey player, something of a ladies’ man, and kind of a charming jackass, if that’s not a complete contradiction in terms. He said the following to some reporters before a game against Calgary:

I am really happy to be back in Calgary, I love Canada. I just want to comment on how it’s become like a common thing in the NHL for guys to fall in love with my sloppy seconds. I don’t know what that’s about. Enjoy the game tonight.

The “sloppy seconds” bit was a knock on either of a couple of actresses that Avery has dated (most suspicion is falling on Elisha Cuthbert of 24 fame, who’s currently dating a member of the Calgary Flames).

Now just reading that, you’d think the guy was being a bit of a smartass, trying to rile up his opponents. The NHL has reacted as if this were Victorian England and Avery had just impugned the chastity of the wives of the entire front office.

Avery actually got suspended for this comment. And what’s even worse, certain news outlets are bleeping or blanking out the phrase “sloppy seconds,” to my mind for no other purpose than to make his comment look way more offensive than it actually was.

When I heard about the suspension, I hadn’t seen his actual comments, so I thought he’d called her a cunt. Which is a significantly more offensive term to most women than “sloppy seconds.”

He’s not going to be winning himself any prizes other than Douche of the Week for publicly referring to his ex as “sloppy seconds.” I certainly wouldn’t like to be referred to as such, since I find the term obnoxious.

But to call it so offensive as to warrant a suspension is such a ridiculous stretch that I seriously can’t believe the NHL even considered it, let alone actually suspended the dumb guy.

I know there are a few other ovaried persons out there reading this, so I’ll throw it open to the comments: Do you find “sloppy seconds” to be offensive, obnoxious, both, or somewhere in between?

Two bits of interest from my annual physical this morning.

First of all, I’ve grown an inch. I’ve never measured above 5’4″, and often called myself 5’4″ on a good day. For some reason, today, I measured 5’5″ even.

Not that I’m complaining, particularly since this height change knocks a solid point off my BMI. Still, it’s a little odd that after somewhere between 10 and 15 years of not growing a bit, I suddenly got an inch taller in the last year.

Secondly, I have to say, it is a rather distressing sign for your love life when even your doctor says, “So, why aren’t you seeing anybody?”

The Emmy Quote of the Evening comes from Mariska Hargitay, who seems just as mystified at I am over her win in the backstage press gaggle:

It’s crazy! Who wins an Emmy on a cop procedural – I do! I guess I say “Where were you Tuesday night?” really well!

And now, I’m off to cry over the series finale of motherfuckin’ Deadwood. I hate you, HBO.