Garfield Minus Garfield

My friends Jessica and Dan were kind enough to invite me along when they wound up with an extra ticket to today’s Rose Bowl. The only difficulty was that Northwestern was playing in the Outback Bowl at 8am, and the Rose Bowl was in Pasadena at 1:30pm.

I initially figured I’d just watch the NU game downtown and take the train up to Pasadena after it ended and walk to the Rose Bowl. The problem with this idea was that none of the bars I’d been planning to go to downtown opened until 10am.

So I said screw it, I’ll just go to Pasadena. I can take the express bus to Union Station and the train to Pasadena, and it’ll all be good. I’d make it at about 7:45 for an 8am kickoff and I’d have to fight Rose Parade crowds, but it was totally doable.

I should have known better than to make a plan that relied on LA County public transportation being on time.

I walked the 20 minutes down to the express bus stop and got there at about 6:15 for what was supposed to be a 6:31 bus. With no sign of it at 6:47 and the next express bus not scheduled until 7:31, I said screw it and hopped on a crosstown bus instead.

I eventually wound up on an LA city bus with a bus driver who was either insane, high, or both. He mumbled in misunderstanding if I asked him if he went to the Gold Line, and he literally shut the door on people and took off giggling if they dared ask him questions about the line if they didn’t get on the bus before they did so.

I was very, very happy when someone (talking to him in Spanish and still making very little headway, but at least more than I made) managed to figure out that the light rail stop he was driving up to was at least on the line I wanted to be on, and I could at least get off his goddamn bus.

So I finally got to the Barney’s Beanery in Pasadena at about 8:30am, which was not horrible, all things considered. The game was…the game.

It went badly until I ordered a beer, and then it started going great so I ordered another. I got about 2/3 of the way through the second when the bartender, in the midst of mixing drinks, knocked the rest of my beer onto my lap. And of course that was when it all went completely to hell for Northwestern.

Clearly, the lesson for whatever game I wind up watching next year is that I need to make sure that a) I start drinking at kickoff, no matter how early it is, and b) do said drinking from a sippy cup.

Anyway, it was heartening to see an entire bar full of Ohio State fans having a post-parade, pre-game beer cheering for Northwestern to beat Auburn, and all of them consoling me as I was banging my head on the bar after that stupid fake field goal failed at the end of OT.

After that I blew off steam by walking to the Rose Bowl (a considerably longer walk than I’d anticipated). I actually had quite a bit of fun for a game that I was very minimally invested in, though it probably helped that I was sitting with a bunch of rabid Ohio State fans who were really, really entertaining.

I promised my friends who got me a ticket to this game that I’d get them tickets to the Rose Bowl the next time Northwestern made it, a promise that got a slightly bigger laugh than intended. But they gave me a ride home, so I forgave them that.

All in all, it was a damn fun day and a great way to kick off the year, despite that ridiculously frustrating NU loss. We’ll get ‘em next year.

A screencap from the Northwestern Online Store, who were apparently just as surprised as the rest of us by the upgrade to the Outback bowl:

To be fair, the email they sent out that I clicked on to get to that page had the properly photoshopped hat with the Outback logo on it….though all the shirts had the date a little off:

Dude, we totally got to the Outback bowl last year! Go tell Missouri they have to re-play last year’s Alamo bowl against Iowa now!

The LA Dodgers are playing the St. Louis Cardinals in the baseball playoffs right now, and as per usual, the mayor of St. Louis and the mayor of LA are making the traditional Stupid Food bets.

There are two twists to this one: First, the bets are, of course, occurring on Twitter – Villaraigosa’s items are spread out over several tweets and a linked photo, and the mayor of St. Louis’ items are so abbreviated as to be almost entirely incomprehensible (the LA Times somehow translates his list as: Toasted ravioli, a build-a-bear, and a Twitter t-shirt).

You might have noticed, however, that Villaraigosa eagerly threw in one more thing: The L.A. Times.

Yes, that’s right, my many journalistic and formerly journalistic friends, one of the largest newspapers in the country is now being placed (albeit half-jokingly) on the same level as toasted ravioli and a gigantic burrito.

I kept drunkenly telling everyone in the bar in Connecticut that I was ecstatic Northwestern was even in a bowl, let alone leading going into the 4th quarter.

But I’m not going to lie: I went apeshit when Mizzou missed that field goal, and I was so dissapointed that despite all our effort, we still lost.

But you know what? Our guys put up one hell of a fucking fight, and if a couple breaks had gone the other way, we would have won. The fact that it was that heart-stoppingly close was really encouraging, and with Kafka on QB next year, this team is going to be dangerous.

Go, U Northwestern. We lost, but we didn’t get our asses handed to us: We fought the good fight. And that’s very encouraging for the future.

Laz brought the extent of this situation to my attention, and the mind-boggling stupidity of it really floored me.

Sean Avery is a hockey player, something of a ladies’ man, and kind of a charming jackass, if that’s not a complete contradiction in terms. He said the following to some reporters before a game against Calgary:

I am really happy to be back in Calgary, I love Canada. I just want to comment on how it’s become like a common thing in the NHL for guys to fall in love with my sloppy seconds. I don’t know what that’s about. Enjoy the game tonight.

The “sloppy seconds” bit was a knock on either of a couple of actresses that Avery has dated (most suspicion is falling on Elisha Cuthbert of 24 fame, who’s currently dating a member of the Calgary Flames).

Now just reading that, you’d think the guy was being a bit of a smartass, trying to rile up his opponents. The NHL has reacted as if this were Victorian England and Avery had just impugned the chastity of the wives of the entire front office.

Avery actually got suspended for this comment. And what’s even worse, certain news outlets are bleeping or blanking out the phrase “sloppy seconds,” to my mind for no other purpose than to make his comment look way more offensive than it actually was.

When I heard about the suspension, I hadn’t seen his actual comments, so I thought he’d called her a cunt. Which is a significantly more offensive term to most women than “sloppy seconds.”

He’s not going to be winning himself any prizes other than Douche of the Week for publicly referring to his ex as “sloppy seconds.” I certainly wouldn’t like to be referred to as such, since I find the term obnoxious.

But to call it so offensive as to warrant a suspension is such a ridiculous stretch that I seriously can’t believe the NHL even considered it, let alone actually suspended the dumb guy.

I know there are a few other ovaried persons out there reading this, so I’ll throw it open to the comments: Do you find “sloppy seconds” to be offensive, obnoxious, both, or somewhere in between?

A few of my better photos from my ridiculously good seats watching the poor old Cubbies lose to the Dodgers a week ago:

Thanks to my friend Matty Lew, who generously subsidized my ticket, and blatantly lied to me about the extent to which he was doing so because he knew I would have been way too proud to accept said subsidy otherwise.

Sorry to stick y’all with another bullet-pointed post, but these things happen when you’re broke and unemployed and not doing much:

• Went sea kayaking with my friend Lisa this morning, which was great fun. We paddled at least 2-3 miles up the coast from the Malibu pier, and it was a really gorgeous day for it, too. However, I forgot how much seawater fucking stings when you get it in your eyes, and I also didn’t realize how much kelp that’s about three feet underwater could look like a shark. It did not help that I recently re-watched Jaws.

• Between the opening and closing ceremonies, are there any fireworks left in China? I know it’s the country that invented them, but man, that was an awful fucking lot of fireworks.

• Man, the Chinese do know how to put on a show. Between the fantastic opening ceremonies and the very nice closing ceremonies, the organizers of London 2012 must have been watching that and going, “…oh, bloody hell.” Particularly since the Jimmy Page and Leona Lewis portion of events was (with the arguable exception of Jackie Chan singing) the most flagrantly goofy part of the closing ceremony that often came across as a cross between Cirque de Soleil and Starlight Express.

• I’m sort of sad to see the Olympics go, since they were a wonderful, wonderful diversion from the fact that there is nothing good on television right now except Mad Men. However, I’m glad they’re going now, since I just did my annual “How the hell am I going to TiVo everything I want to watch?” spreadsheet and have determined that, at least before I start deleting things that suck, I have 26 hours of TV a week on my prime-time schedule. I think the “cancel season pass” key is going to have to be merciless this year, because I am not going to have time to actually watch all that.

• So speaking of television, does anybody have any desire for me to do a few TV reviews like I did last year? I basically talked about new shows as I watched them (making sure to divulge the ever-increasing number of shows I have friends working on), some briefly, some at greater length. Did you guys actually find that shit interesting, or was it like, “Dude…you watch too much TV”?

Finally, I have a job interview tomorrow, so hopefully these bullet pointed posts whining about how I’m bored stiff will soon be replaced with ones whining about how exhausted and overworked I am. Fingers crossed!

I hopped the redeye to Cape Cod Friday night, and watched some Jons get married on Saturday. It was wonderful in so many ways.

The place Joel found us (thanks, Joel!) was fantastic, right on the water looking out into Nantucket Sound. It was a really gorgeous place to stay, it was incredibly fun to hang out with everyone, and it was such a nice break from the L.A. madness.

The wedding itself was beautiful, touching, and even hilarious. The dancing after the wedding was definitely hilarious, and I feel I made a nice drunken contribution to said hilarity.

In all seriousness, though, I hope to hell I find someone that makes me half as happy as the Jons obviously make each other. If I do, I’ll consider myself incredibly lucky.

Although I lacked my camera, about 20 other people brought theirs, so there’s no lack of documentation of the beauty of the weekend, both literal and metaphorical.

It was also my birthday on Sunday, and I’m pleased to note that for the first birthday since I turned 24, I managed to remain ambulatory for the entire day. It’s those little victories that matter.

Speaking of little victories, I took no small amount of joy out of the fact that the Lakers choked both Friday AND Sunday against the Celtics.

I was slightly disappointed I couldn’t find a “Lakers Suck!” shirt to wear around L.A. all week, but I suppose that given the general agressiveness and assholishness of Lakers fans, not finding said shirt reduces my chances of getting beat up and/or shot.

All in all, I had a really great weekend, and spent my day off today recovering from the whole thing in order to go into a truly delightful next three weeks of six-day weeks and a full shooting schedule.

Posting will be light for a bit, save the occasional complaint about how ridiculously goddamn tired I am.

Be they basketball non-fans like myself or (shudder) Clippers fans, I would like to just say to all the asshat Laker fans whose chronic dickitude has become overwhelming during the playoffs this year: Ha-ha!

Also, I hope you lose the next three straight, like you did in ‘04 against the Pistons in the Finals.

I may not give a flying fuck about professional basketball, but I remember well when the Lakers choke, because I hate their jerkass fans SO MUCH.

This probably wasn’t the most dignified way for the Caps to wind up tying their playoff game last night:

Note the guy that falls over: He took a direct hit to the family jewels with the puck, and now the poor bastard might wind up minus one of them.

Yow. Even being a Caps fan, I’m not sure that play shouldn’t have been blown dead before Mike Green scored. I think it happened too fast for the refs to realize what had happened, but still, sucks for the Flyers.

Thanks(?) to Deadspin for the tip.