When I was swimming while I was in Idaho, I thought maybe the pool might be a little longer than the pool at my gym, since it was taking me a solid six minutes longer to finish 100 lengths than it had been at my gym.

The folks at the pool in Idaho swore up and down that their pool was 25 meters. The folks at my gym swore up and down when I asked them this afternoon that their pool is also 25 meters, even though it felt noticeably shorter than the one in Idaho.

So, there are three possibilities:

1. The pool in Idaho is actually longer than 25 meters, meaning the pool at my gym is 25 meters.
2. The pool at my gym is actually only 25 yards long, meaning the Idaho pool was 25 meters. This also means I haven’t been going nearly as far as I’ve been thinking I have.
3. The fact that the Idaho pool was outside and at moderately high altitude and the pool at my gym is inside at sea level is playing with my speed and perception, and the pools are actually the same length.

Frankly, I think option 2 is the most likely, given that at my pace the 6 extra minutes it was taking me to finish in Idaho is about how long it takes me to swim the 214 meter difference between 2500 yards and 2500 meters.

How much of a tool would it make me if I showed up at the gym tomorrow with a measuring tape so that I can find out if I’ve actually been swimming 2500 meters or 2500 yards?

I’m not normally a germophobe, but this morning at the gym, someone did something that icked me out something awful.

When you swim, you’re supposed to rinse off in the communal shower by the pool before and after. This both helps prevent dirt from getting in the pool (before) and helps get rid of some of the chlorine (after).

Some people like to also take the post-swim rinse as an opportunity to shampoo their hair, and perform other parts of the showering ritual, just in a bathing suit. I find this odd, but not gross.

What I found gross was the woman who insisted on brushing her teeth in the communal, open shower. Spitting onto the floor that everyone walks on, as if the mere fact that she was showering while doing it makes it okay.

I can see doing that at home, where you are the only person who has to stand in that, and the one who has to clean it up. But in a shower by a pool? Where people you don’t even know go? Where everyone can see exactly what you’re doing?

Frankly, I don’t think there are shower shoes in existence thick enough to make that okay.

People are dicks when they commit two key, related fouls in the lap pool at the gym:

1. Taking up over 2/3 of the very large lane, leaving me a sliver in which to swim. For the most part, I was okay, but this dick was…

2. Still managing to flail so wildly as to lock arms with me abruptly as he passed me going the opposite direction, leaving a huge bruise on my bicep and wrenching my back-shoulder muscle. He also smacked into me another time, but that was more annoying than all-day painful.

The fact that he did this on a day when I was going to be schlepping coolers and cases of water and mountains of paper around all day made it all the more delightful.

Congratulations, sir of the complete lack of attention and/or boundaries. You’re officially a dick.

And you owe me a bottle of Advil.