It takes a lot to make me stop watching a show. Evidence: I have watched every single episode of ER since its premiere. IN FUCKING 1994.

But I’m with Alan Sepinwall on this one: Heroes has lost me for good, and not because of anything in particular, but because of the sum total of its stupidity.

I was trying to explain why I still like Lost but am deleting my Heroes season pass to a friend, since both shows are often horrifically confusing and unnecessarily convoluted. It comes down to this: Motivation.

Characters on Lost have either had slowly evolving motivations or still are motivated by many of the same things that they were at the outset of the show. Most of the characters on Heroes seem to be motivated by whatever fits the plot that “chapter”, or even that week.

It becomes impossible to care who’s doing what or why when a character’s motivation can change so frequently and so capriciously, and you find yourself wondering why the hell you’re still watching this show in the first place.

It says a lot about how wrong you’ve gone when an unemployed person with nothing but time to kill decides that watching your show is not worth her time.

Credit to Sars of Tomato Nation for coining the phrase “DVR Break-Up“. Brilliant in its simplification of the process of deleting all recorded episodes of a show, then torpedoing the season pass. Amusing that she inaugurated it with Heroes six months ago, because she does not posess the patience (read: stupidity) that I do.

Chaplin and his hilariously sad cone/satellite dish collar, critiquing my queue of BSG episodes.

In an update to my earlier post, now that I’ve tried it out….I am DEFINITELY never leaving the house again.

From the department of It’s About Fucking Time: TiVo and Netflix sign a deal to allow Netflix Watch Now streaming to Series 3 TiVos.

If only I had time to watch half the shit I’m TiVoing right now, let alone the Netflix discs rotting by my TV. At least this will be a good way to kill time the next time I’m out of work.

And the winner of this year’s First Show Deleted Off The Season Pass List is…Little Britain USA!

Sorry guys, you’re just not funny enough to overcome that hideous laugh track.

Although I will admit, had I gotten around to watching the two episodes of Fringe sitting on the TiVo, I might have deleted that first.

Sorry to stick y’all with another bullet-pointed post, but these things happen when you’re broke and unemployed and not doing much:

• Went sea kayaking with my friend Lisa this morning, which was great fun. We paddled at least 2-3 miles up the coast from the Malibu pier, and it was a really gorgeous day for it, too. However, I forgot how much seawater fucking stings when you get it in your eyes, and I also didn’t realize how much kelp that’s about three feet underwater could look like a shark. It did not help that I recently re-watched Jaws.

• Between the opening and closing ceremonies, are there any fireworks left in China? I know it’s the country that invented them, but man, that was an awful fucking lot of fireworks.

• Man, the Chinese do know how to put on a show. Between the fantastic opening ceremonies and the very nice closing ceremonies, the organizers of London 2012 must have been watching that and going, “…oh, bloody hell.” Particularly since the Jimmy Page and Leona Lewis portion of events was (with the arguable exception of Jackie Chan singing) the most flagrantly goofy part of the closing ceremony that often came across as a cross between Cirque de Soleil and Starlight Express.

• I’m sort of sad to see the Olympics go, since they were a wonderful, wonderful diversion from the fact that there is nothing good on television right now except Mad Men. However, I’m glad they’re going now, since I just did my annual “How the hell am I going to TiVo everything I want to watch?” spreadsheet and have determined that, at least before I start deleting things that suck, I have 26 hours of TV a week on my prime-time schedule. I think the “cancel season pass” key is going to have to be merciless this year, because I am not going to have time to actually watch all that.

• So speaking of television, does anybody have any desire for me to do a few TV reviews like I did last year? I basically talked about new shows as I watched them (making sure to divulge the ever-increasing number of shows I have friends working on), some briefly, some at greater length. Did you guys actually find that shit interesting, or was it like, “Dude…you watch too much TV”?

Finally, I have a job interview tomorrow, so hopefully these bullet pointed posts whining about how I’m bored stiff will soon be replaced with ones whining about how exhausted and overworked I am. Fingers crossed!

Despite the arguments in favor of the remote with big orange flames painted on it, I decided to go a different direction in my choice of TiVo reward:

I do like that I can jam one on over my cast to keep my toes warm. Chaplin? Not impressed:

I have a bunch of TiVo rewards points, since I’m such a TiVo-hugger that I’ve influenced several others to purchase TiVos. Crappily, however, these points expire after 24 months, and a bunch of mine are about to expire.

And so we come to my dilemma, what to do with my TiVo rewards points. Here are my options:

1. Drop all my points on an iPod shuffle, which I will then either sell on eBay (currently going for about $50-60) or find some random use for.

2. Use the portion of my points that are expiring on hilariously goofy TiVo branded slippers and save the rest (the rest will not expire for another 18 months, and I can put them towards things like…more TiVos).

3. Use the portion of my points that are expiring on a new remote with orange flames to match one of my guitars and save the rest.

4. Just let the points expire and stop filling my house with useless crap.

Being the horrifically indecisive person that I am, I keep waffling on which option to choose.

To put this to an end, I fling open the comment box and request your input: What useless crap shall enter my house next?

Well, it took four guys from the cable company standing around my apartment for an hour to get the two CableCards properly installed in my HD TiVo, but good lord, SPECTACULAR HD (™ Laz) is pretty fucking cool.

I’m watching the Lakers-Wizards game right now (ironic, since a) I hate basketball and b) I hate DC even more), and the picture is absolutely unreal. You can see the individual beads of sweat on Gilbert Arenas as he comes up to the free throw line.

Nate came over earlier and The Empire Strikes Back was on HBO HD, and…wow. Darth Vader’s helmet was so very, very shiny. You could count the individual hairs on Chewbacca.

I moved the new-old TiVo that had been in the living room to the bedroom and disconnected the old-old TiVo. I’m in the process of trying to find a home in L.A. for the old-old one (since I’d prefer not to ship it), but if I can’t, you kids will get first dibs before I put it on eBay.

I also changed my TiVo naming scheme, since the old one was a bit too practical (“living room” and “bedroom” were the old names). Fixed that problem: The new-old TiVo is now Pinky, and the HD TiVo is The Brain.

Between this and my new Netflix subscription (Snakes on a Motherfuckin’ Plane arrived today) I think there’s a very real danger that I’m never going to leave my apartment again.

The streak lives! My iron stomach continued to hold its own against all comers. About partway through Thursday my appetite came back in full force, and I ended up eating my way through half the food in the kitchen at work.

The foot’s also been behaving better. I was doing something that, to the naked eye, resembled walking yesterday. I’m still having a few incidences of intermittent stabbing pain, but it’s better than constant stabbing pain.

And now, I’m waiting for the cable guy to get my HD TiVo recording in SPECTACULAR HD. All in all, it’ll be a nice improvement over the last week.