Chaplin’s procedure went well this afternoon, so there’s a good possibility he won’t need any more surgery! And even if he does, it’s surgery that sounds a lot less severe and complication-ridden than the worst case scenario that they were discussing.

I can’t even describe what a weight this is off my mind, and how it lets me leave for Connecticut in relative confidence that he’ll do okay just hanging with the people at the animal hospital for a little while, so I can go focus on my aunt and the rest of my mom’s family.

I was being superstitious and not packing until I heard one way or another, so I’m afraid I have to cut this short and, you know, pack and otherwise prepare my house for the fact that I won’t be here for a bit.

Thanks so much to all of you who’ve been keeping my little guy in your thoughts, I really appreciate it.

I hope all of you have a very Merry Christmas and Happy Channukah, especially those of you who have also been going through a really, really trying time. I know I’m not the only one.

Joanna’s wedding was lovely. Very nice, very low-key, and a fun reception. I will say: I was impressed with the swiftness of the ceremony. I have been to at least five weddings of various friends and family where the vows alone were longer than the entire ceremony was here. An excellent strategy for preventing weeping brides (and grooms, and parents of the bride, etc).

Got to buy the father of the bride a shot of good scotch at the after-party. Got to drink enough beer to make me not want to drink another beer for at least another few weeks.

Got to see some folks I haven’t seen in a long time, several of whom are now significantly taller since the last time I saw them, they were twelve. Got to do a lot of catching up with D.C. folk I hadn’t seen in forever, since I haven’t actually, you know, been to my evil hometown in forever.

Joanna’s house is outstanding. She and Matt bought a run-down Victorian about 30 miles outside of Albany a couple years ago, and with the help of Matt’s contractor dad, did their very own Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. They showed us the before pictures when we visited Saturday, and it looks like a totally different house.

I still can’t get over how weird it is that she’s married and owns a house now. Joanna and I have been friends since the fifth grade, when we were both 10 years old. We have known each other for seventeen years. It’s so strange to realize people you grew up with are now…grown-ups.

Although I will admit, the fact that the newlyweds, the best man, myself, and Rachel (another friend from High School I roomed and split a rental car with for the weekend) spent Monday afternoon at a School Bus Demolition Derby probably did not help in my efforts to convince myself that we are all adults now.

It was, however, the completely fucking awesomest post-wedding activity I have ever encountered. Dude, a school bus got flipped on its side a minute into it! How can you NOT love such an event?

Particularly since the winner of the derby was a politician running for local office. I tried to find out what local office he was running for, but he has the same name as a (female) porn star, and she’s all that comes up when you Google his name.

All in all, a rather entertaining weekend, capped off by a trip through the Minneapolis-St. Paul airport, completely drowning in Republican-conventioneer-targeted advertising, and approximately the size of the state of Rhode Island. I wish those of you covering the Convention luck in figuring out where in the fuck your gate is when you’re trying to leave.

I’m off to Albany, New York for the first wedding of one of my high school friends, which is really, really weird. Actually, I’ve known Joanna since we were in 5th grade, which makes this whole endeavor even fucking weirder.

Her brother, who I still picture as the eleven year old he was when we graduated from high school, will be picking me up from the airport. This weekend is going to be hilarious.

Well, except for the five hour layover I have tomorrow between 5-10am in Detroit. That’s just going to be brutal. Thanks for changing the schedule on me like 8 times, Northwest!

* - Where the title comes from.

Thanks for waiting until I was in Vegas last night to completely collapse on me. It allowed me to enjoy the vast majority of my vacation without feeling like I was going to cough up a lung.

Made the drive back to L.A. this morning a little miserable, but at least I had a box of tissues I stole from the hotel and a bunch of DayQuil to make it bearable.

Medicinal Chinese food: On its way.

I’ll be stopping in Vegas again tomorrow night, and staying at…The Hooters Casino Hotel.

Hilarity will doubtlessly ensue.

Went for a little ride with the Old Fart Bike Brigade: Atlanta Edition today. And when I say “a little ride”, I mean this nice 28 mile loop. I’m a little tired now. 

While I did manage to do better than my dad (in his defense, he’s almost 72 and I’m 27), I was slightly dismayed to find that I was huffing and puffing to keep pace with a barely-breaking-a-sweat 65 year old prostate cancer patient.

I’m in better shape than I was, but I apparently still have a ways to go. We’ll see how I hold up Wednesday with Old Fart Bike Brigade 2: Electric Jewgaloo (aka the Wood River Jewish Community ride).

Vegas was a good news, bad news situation.

The bad news was that I lost $15 playing Roulette, because I never fucking remember that you have to have at least $100 to win squat at Roulette until I drop at least $10 in the frame of three minutes.

The good news was that I turned around and turned $20 into $60 off a blackjack-dealing Elvis impersonator. My mother was so proud when I told her (she, as you may or may not recall, is an insane Elvis fan).

The bad news was that I somehow managed to not notice that the ticket I’d bought to The Dark Knight was to a 35mm show, not an IMAX show, and the bulb on the projector was clearly on its last legs as well.

The good news was that The Dark Knight was still so unbelievably, jaw-droppingly fantastic that now I’m happy I have an excuse to see it again, and in even more brain-meltingly awesome IMAX.

Anyway, I meandered up here to Sun Valley on Friday, and then have been enjoying showing my dad and stepmom my new personality as an insane exercise addict.

I did 2500 meters in the pool and a six mile bike ride. Well, really, a three mile downhill cruise and a three mile lung-punishing climb, to be more accurate. Actually, both bits were pretty lung-punishing, as I’d forgotten how much thinner the air is here than in L.A.

I also have a nice little strip of sunburn right above my left eyebrow to show for my troubles, in the space between the top of the eyebrow and the bottom of my swim cap. Let me tell you, it is an attractive look.

But my level of relaxation is reaching critical mass. Tomorrow’s plan includes a four mile walk, more swimming, and a screening of Mamma Mia. The latter was my stepmom’s idea, as my feelings on that musical/film are well summed up by a quote from the movie The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert:

“NO MORE BLOODY ABBA!”

I’m unemployed and gas costs $4.60 a gallon, so what better time is there to take a road trip to Idaho to see my dad?

Actually, I’m road-tripping for three reasons:

1. Changeable plane tickets are expensive, even more so than the gas to get the 861 miles between here and Sun Valley.
2. You could not pay me to fly into the itty bitty airport in Sun Valley in an itty bitty plane that has to nose-dive between GIANT mountains to land, and the closest normal airports are Boise (2.5 hour drive) and Salt Lake City (5 hour drive).
3. Given the general hassle that flying has become over the last few years, for a trip of less than 1,000 miles, I’d really rather drive if I have the time.

So tonight, I’m stopping in Vegas and, per my Evil Plot, going to see The Dark Knight in IMAX. Then I’ll get up and drive the rest of the way to Sun Valley, and all will be well.

Tales of fishing, biking, swimming, relaxing, and possibly hiking and rafting if my foot decides to cooperate, to come.

I think I’ve figured out how to land myself a job interview next Friday.

This theory came to me as I was waiting for my Chinese food for an hour and 15 minutes. I really had to pee, but I just KNEW the guy was going to come while I was in the bathroom.

Sure enough, I said “Oh the hell with this, I’m not waiting any longer,” and the guy came while I was in the bathroom.

This always happens to me: I wait and wait for what’s supposed to happen to happen, and then when it doesn’t, I start doing something else, and THEN what was supposed to happen happens.

Working from this trend, I’ve come up with a plan to have at the very least, a job interview by the end of next week.

My job finishes this Friday, and I had been planning (barring a sudden settlement with SAG) to try and leave town next Thursday for about a week and a half to visit my dad up in Idaho. I’ll be driving, so I’ll be stopping in Vegas on the way up next Thursday if all goes to plan.

I knew Dark Knight was coming out next Friday, and I really want to see it in IMAX, since they actually shot some of it in IMAX and I hear it’s brain-meltingly awesome.

So of course, I got online to see if there are tickets to the midnight IMAX screening in Vegas (and I’d like to pause here to note that IMAX tickets in Vegas are cheaper than regular movie tickets here), and there were.

So now, my evil plot: I bought my ticket to that midnight Thursday showing in Vegas.

By purchasing that ticket, I have close to guaranteed that something will come up in L.A. and I won’t be able to leave until Friday or Saturday, maybe not even at all.

Clearly, as I’m packing my shit into the car to leave on Thursday morning, I will get a phone call from someone who wants to interview me Friday morning, maybe even for a job that starts Monday.

And if my frustrating luck does not continue to hold…Well, I’ll get to see the Dark Knight in IMAX on opening night then spend a week in Idaho with my dad. It’s pretty much a win-win.

Please enjoy these photos of my father and stepmother’s tour of the “Five ‘Stans”: Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Uzbekistan, Turkmenistan, and Tajikistan.

Dad’s still figuring out how Flickr works, so his captions (which contain a fair bit of historical context for what you’re looking at) are actually posted as comments. Although some of the comments, like this one, are courtesy of Ray Ann.