I made the absolute rightest decision I have ever made when I decided that I need to get out of show business.

A little job came through – two and a half weeks of work on a pilot presentation (basically, a dirt-cheap pilot), starting Monday. Normally this wouldn’t be terribly exciting, but it’s actually union work for once, so this job means a couple of things.

Most importantly, because it’s union and because of the way the health insurance works in my union, it’s just enough hours to let me keep my union health insurance through the end of the year, which will save me a whole pile of money over COBRA.

Almost as importantly, it’s getting me the hell out of the house. I needed something to forcibly break me out of my current cycle of reading everything on the internet then watching everything on television and then going back and reading whatever got posted on the internet while I was watching TV, and this should do nicely.

If I intended to stay in showbiz, I’d be excited for a chance at making a good impression on a new set of contacts, but at this point I’m just happy to be able to have in-person conversations with other humans that do not include the words “Thanks for coming to 24 Hour Fitness!” more than a couple times a week.

And hey, it’s more money than unemployment. Woo!

Until I was about 21, I thought I was going to be a rock star.

Until I was 28, I thought I was going to make movies and TV for a living.

Until I was ____, I thought I was going to be a professional computer nerd.

—

Life has taken a lot of twists and turns for me since the writers’ strike of 2007-2008. Since that strike began on November 5, 2007, I have spent almost twelve of these last 24 months unemployed.

Part of that was the strike. Part of that was my decision to move into the production line and out of working directly for producers, which is an inherently more volatile career path.

But much of it has been the way the bottom has absolutely fallen out of filming in L.A. The combination of the strike starting a rearrangement of the way the business works and the economy in general going down the tubes has contributed to a precipitous drop in filming here. There’s just no work.

I realized a couple months ago as I was making my bajillionth phone call looking for work that I have not received one phone call back since June. June was also my last interview, for a job I had locked down until an actor decided to put in a good word for his niece, and then she had it locked down.

I’ve offered to take PA jobs again, but they’re not looking to take someone with as much experience in higher-up jobs as I have. In some cases, they think it’s because I think I’m above the scut work (which I don’t, I wouldn’t be applying for a PA job if I did), and in some cases, it seems they think I’ll outshine them (with the people who are insecure enough to actually worry about this, that might be a more valid concern).

Everywhere I look in terms of what my skills can get me in the entertainment business, I either see jobs that are so severely overworked and underpaid that I would rather work at Starbucks again than take them, because at least at Starbucks I would get health insurance, or nothing at all.

And frankly, the way things are going right now with the economy and the out-of-state filming incentives and the studios and networks freaking the fuck out about every last penny, I don’t see that scenario changing in the next 18-24 months at the absolute earliest.

Sometimes, you just wake up and realize that the universe is trying to tell you something. And the universe is telling me it’s time to do something else with my life.

—

And now, a brief comic interlude:

Click to enlarge.

From Amazing Super Powers.

—

I’ve always been a pop-culture nerd, but I wasn’t a serious computer nerd until the last 3-4 years. I learned some HTML programming in college, and really enjoyed it, but the complete time-sink that is working in entertainment pulled me off the track that would have kept me learning more about programming.

While the primary technical things that I’ve done in the last few years have involved technical troubleshooting and working as an ad-hoc IT Guy, what I really want to learn about is how to make computers do what I want them to.

And to do that, I need to learn how to program. I need to learn about architecture and C++ and the vagaries of programming for different platforms. I really want to learn how to take some ideas I have for programs and turn them into reality, from start to finish.

This, however, will require a fair amount of school. Right now I’m on step 0.1, taking some very basic classes at the community college level, trying to figure out exactly where my interests take me in terms of how I want to program.

My ultimate goal is a Masters’ in Computer Science. I’m in the middle of a choose-your-own-adventure bit of figuring out how that’s going to happen, but I do know that I’m sure as shit not going back to school just to get a second Bachelor’s.

I’m putting together an application to Stanford to start next fall, since a) they have an extraordinarily strong program and b) they are one of the only well-respected Graduate-level CS programs that will actually accept people who don’t have a CS undergrad background as long as they’re willing to learn.

It’s an extremely competitive program, so I have a fairly comprehensive backup plan standing by. I’ll get into it at some point down the road if need be.

If I do somehow manage to get into Stanford, however, I expect to hear a lot of this [note: mp3 link].

—

I’ve talked to a fair number of you guys about all this in differing degrees of depth, but I felt like I really needed to try and bring everything together in one place, almost more for my own purposes than to try and clarify it for everyone else.

I certainly won’t say I’m never working in entertainment again. If someone offered me a job right now that would help me keep my union health insurance even a bit longer, I’d take it in a second. But I don’t see my future in production anymore, and that’s where things have changed.

This is a path that’s been slowly coalescing over the last few months, and has picked up a lot of steam since about Labor day, when I finally accepted that I probably wouldn’t work in entertainment for much of the rest of the year.

It took a long time for the pieces to come together well enough for me to see them, but once they did, my way forward became much, much clearer. I’ve got a plan, or really a bunch of plans all leading in the same direction.

Now all I have to do is try and figure out how to get there from here.

Recently, I have:

• Turned 28, to relatively little fanfare. Which is probably appropriate, because it’s not a terribly significant birthday. Drinks at the friendly local “We have a ton of awesome beer” establishment were fun, though.
   
• Found a surprisingly viable backup employment plan if I can’t get on anything for the fall season (which I’ll go into at some point later on if/when it happens). But the good news is that I am relatively confident that I will not be boiling my own shoes for dinner. At least not until after Thanksgiving.
   
• Had my phone deteriorate to the point where it’s going to take a lot of restraint for me to not smash the thing with a ballpeen hammer between now and next Friday when I get the new iPhone. Thankfully I have kept a dedicated phone replacement fund and have decided to say “Screw unemployment!” and just get the damn new one.
   
• Gotten new neighbors after 5 months of the apartment next door being empty because the landlord refused to face reality about the way rents are falling around here. They seem nice, but their cigarette smoke seeps into my apartment on occasion, and they let their cats roam about, which tends to freak Chaplin out in the middle of the night from time to time.
   
• Broke down and finally gotten myself the “Hooray, I lost 80lbs!” reward I’d been planning to get for months: An iPod shuffle/waterproof headset combo which will keep me entertained while swimming long distances. I’m now doing 2 miles with no problem, and I’m considering bumping up to 4km when I can get away with it.
   
• Watched an absolute fuckton of TV. Rewatched entire 4th season of BSG, now working through Netflix discs of Big Bang Theory (more geekily amusing than I recalled it being, since I dropped it after the pilot) and re-watching Band of Brothers, probably going to go through all of Deadwood next.
   
• Received a sternly worded letter from the landlord to the entire building that the toilets are ONLY for disposal of human waste and toilet paper. I’m not sure whether or not I want to hear the story behind that one.
   
• Have fought the good fight against my body’s natural instinct to stay awake ridiculously late and then get up mid-morning. Generally won, though this week I’ve mostly lost (as evidenced by the timestamp on this post).

There’s wrapping, and then there’s sticking a fork in it. Starting tomorrow, I’m going to go work for 2 weeks and two days to stick a fork in it. By Good Friday, it should all be gone.

The odd thing is, I still have to bring all my crap in, as if I were actually starting a new job. The whole ergo keyboard/mouse/laptop stand, eight bajillion computer cords, and all the assorted detrius I need like pens and a stapler (and in this instance, one of my tape guns).

Part of me feels like I shouldn’t have to still schlep all that in if I’m not going to be there that long. Oh well.

Anyway, paying work good. More than two weeks and two days of it would be great, but hey, if it keeps the wolves away from my door for an extra half-month, I’ll take it.

My immune system tends to collapse when shows come to an end. The sheer stress and insanity holds it together for most or all of a season, and then the second I start to relax, boom.

I remember when Mark and I went to Europe, I’d just gotten off my second season at Ellen and between that and flying from LA to London, I caught a brutal cold that left me exhausted. I remember lying down and napping on the grass in a park outside Les Invalides while he went and checked it out, since I’d been there on a previous trip and Mark hadn’t.

This time it seems to be a wicked but short duration cold that killed my energy for the last few days, killed my appetite until early this afternoon, and will probably keep affecting my voice for another few.

Therein lies the biggest problem: At a time where I need to be making dozens of phone calls to try and get hired on another show, I sound like the harbinger of the apocalypse.

“Hire me! I’ll bring death and destruction to you and all your issue!” is not really the foot I want to put forward right now.

Oh well. I’ve been feeling much better through the day today, so hopefully it’ll clear up by monday when I have to start making all these damn calls in earnest.

I got home 20 minutes ago. I switched shifts with my boss tomorrow, so I have to be at work about three hours earlier than I otherwise would, which means even ditching the gym tomorrow, I have to be asleep in about 20 minutes.

When do we wrap again?

Things are still batty at work, but at least I have a whole weekend this weekend. I have taken advantage of it by sleeping an enormous amount and swimming 3km this morning.

So, in the continuing spirit of not really feeling like doing anything of substance, I present some weekend randomness.

First, a video from the Chicago NBC station that is quite possibly the most hilarious “bored interns with animation software run amok” bit I’ve ever seen:

Then there’s this New York Times article about hilariously inappropraite place names in Britain. I really want to purchase a t-shirt of that map they have of numerous places in Britain with such names.

And last but not least, the show I’ve been working on since September premieres tomorrow night after the Closer, so check your local listings for what time that is in your area – note that on the West Coast TNT’s HD feed is still on Eastern time. Please watch, especially if you’re, say, a Nielsen household.

I’m tired. Really, really Tired.

Worked until 2am Saturday morning then had to get up at 8:30 to drop off Chaplin to get his stitches out Tired. Passed out on the couch repeatedly all day Saturday because I didn’t have the energy to drag myself to bed Tired.

Chaplin still bonking into things with his cone until tomorrow night because the vet changed her mind about how long he has to wear it Tired.

Biked 35 miles today Tired. Would probably have biked further if I’d realized how late my Sunday work was going to be Tired.

Finally got dragged into work at 8pm tonight for weekend script distro right as I was about to send an email asking if maybe we shouldn’t put out whatever we were putting out tomorrow Tired.

At least my call tomorrow is pushed off a bit tomorrow Tired, because if I had to be there at 8am after this I would have killed someone Tired.

So tired I’m ending this post with a gratuitous Blazing Saddles clip:

Work is completely batshit crazy right now – we premiere in two weeks (Monday January 26th at 10pm, 9pm central after the return of The Closer) so we’ve got all kinds of publicity things on top of the usual insanity, and it’s driving my hours into the range of Completely Loony instead of just the regular Somewhat Nutty.

Anyway, Chaplin is back and doing much, much better after having his abscess drained. I get to try to toss an antibiotic pill down his throat twice a day now. This is an addition to our routine that he is decidedly not in favor of, but which will hopefully prevent a recurrence of the abscess.

And now, just for giggles, a picture of him in the bed I bought him – technically a dog bed since he’s so huge he wouldn’t fit in a normal cat bed:

He resolutely ignored the bed until the night before I would have been able to return it, and now is sleeping in it all the time. He does have a sense of humor about these things.