Employed!

I got hired by CPK, and it looks like I have a shot at a second job for the summer working on a rooftop bar down by the Lake...More to come when I'm not so fucking drunk.

Hm...

I got my biggest bite on a job in quite some time when I stopped by California Pizza Kitchen today.

I went in because I was out at Old Orchard (suburbia-hellish mall in Skokie) begging people for jobs and one of my friends from high school worked there for a couple of summers, and he really seemed to enjoy it, in addition to making a shitload of money. So I figured I might as well apply.

The manager I talked to was really nice, and I've got an appointment to go talk to the other manager tomorrow, and it actually sounded, for once, like they actually wanted me to work there.

I don't want to put the cart before the horse like I did with the Braves job, because the other manager could end up hating me or turn out to be some sort of lunatic, but I feel good that at least someone wants to employ me.

I'm still not sure I'm cut out to be a waitress, but hey, I can put a big fake smile on as well as or better than anyone else. And my pseudo-Southern accent seems to be more of a help than a hindrance.

It's not thick enough to make me sound stupid (Jeff Foxworthy: "Most people hear this accent and automatically want to deduct 100 I.Q. points."), but it's there enough to make me sound like a nice polite southern belle.

Well, if you don't hear me getting pissed and spitting out more profanities than George Carlin's Seven Words You Can Never Say On Televison routine. That tends to take a touch of the charm out of it...

So we'll see. I should have a better idea after tomorrow of what sort of employment I'll have. And maybe then I'll stop bitching about not having a job and start bitching about customers!

Recommended

A Mighty Wind. Not quite as funny as Best In Show (which, to be fair, is a really high standard), but still one of the most amusing movies I've seen in some time.

Now THAT's Fuckin' Cool

If I ever do end up going into the advertising business, let me make commercials like this.

Courtesy Dave Barry

Note To Self

Drinking 6 Bud Lights is not a good idea, even when they only cost 2 bucks a pop.

Sunny Weather

Good weather can really make all the difference between a good day and a bad one.

I've been out begging for jobs for the last couple of days, and having my usual rate of near total failure, but I haven't been as depressed about it as normal. Why not? Because we've had a two-day preview of summertime here in Chicagoland.

80 yesterday, 82 or so today, both days with a nice stiff breeze coming off Lake Michigan and a stunningly gorgeous blue sky filling out the picture-postcard days and nights of Cubs games and hilariously drunken yuppies. It has been, in two words, perfect weather.

Just hot enough to make you sweat a little when you walk five miles in a job application frenzy, or even just five blocks. It's been phenomenal, and it sucks away my bad mood. I wish it would continue forever.

I applied, probably along with half of Chicago, to work as a bartender at a beachhouse down by the Lake, and (other than the couple of gay bars I applied to, since I could really use some ass) that's the one I hope I get the most. Because I've realized what a huge difference nice weather makes.

I can go and turn myself into a lobster with my Irish/Russian skin on a daily basis, and I won't give a flying fuck, because I'll be outside, soaking up the sun and getting drenched by thunderstorms and ducking the occasional tornado.

I still feel guilty for not having a job. But you know what, I'm looking. I'll find one. And life won't suck so much when I feel useful, and I get to walk around in the sun and not feel guilty for not going into every single bar I pass to plead for employment.

That, and not the day I actually put my $120,000 degree to actual use, will be the day I declare myself a success.

Life Imitates Commericals

Eliina's discussion of the rash of Adult Things that seem to be sweeping my wider group of friends (engagements, marriages, real jobs, people moving in together) reminded me of something I wanted to post.

Some days, I feel like I'm trapped in that Saturn commercial about Marriage. Go here and click on the "Wedding" one (I can't figure out how to get it to link directly) if you haven't seen it. I'm in the car, watching everyone I know dive after bouqets and rent tuxes.

I see myself as the sarcastic looking girl in the front seat, thinking all these people are fucking nuts. I could also be the frightened-looking guy she looks at, who seems to be torn between admitting he wants all this and realizing what it actually means.

But way, way more of my friends than I anticipated at this point in my life are the dippy couple in the back seat, giving each other moony looks, thinking about how nice a wedding would be, mentally picking out dates that would be convenient.

Of course, in six months I could be part of the dippy couple in the back seat.

Odds are, however, I'll still be bitter and alone, but this time looking for a dress that doesn't make me look like a floral-printed version of the Pillsbury Doughboy so I have more than my current stable of two dresses to wear to weddings.

At least, however, nobody in any of my groups of friends has kids yet. Some of them have friends from home or siblings who have 2 kids already. All my stepsiblings have kids (or will by this time next month), but they're all at least 10 years older than me.

Just as long as Saturn doesn't come out with a "Parenthood" commercial right when my friends all start having kids. Then I think I'm going to have to find their ad agency and find out where they've hidden their cameras.

Drown Out The Voices

So Friday night I went to see Melissa Ferrick at the Double Door, and it was one of the best and worst concerts I've ever been to at the same time.

Best because of the performance. Melissa is always really awesome, but she just threw it into another gear Friday. I go to a shitload of concerts, but very rarely do I see someone as on their game as she was. She fuckin' rocked.

Thus the reason it was one of the worst concerts I've ever attended was even more of a waste.

Half the crowd wasn't even listening, and they were talking so loud that despite the fact that I was only about five feet from the stage, the conversation drowned the music out on some of the quieter songs.

Melissa eventually got so pissed she actually went out into the crowd and stood on the bar at one point, apparently asking for at least a little respect. I've never seen a performer do that before, and frankly, I wish she had done it before.

I've never seen a crowd that inconsiderate before, even at one of my shows, and I'm a fuckin' hack compared to her. And these people paid a fucking $15 cover to get in!

I know the Double Door is in the middle of Wicker Park (a highly yuppie-infested area of Chicago) and it was a Friday night, but still, I've been to there for several other concerts and have never seen anything even remotely like this.

The one good thing to come out of all this horseshit was that Melissa channeled the anger she felt into her music. She has a song called "North Carolina" (3rd track, but it's much better live) and she just about spat the first half of the chorus at the fuckers in the back:

Drown out the voices
Drown out the noise
Drow out the bitterness
That I have stored

And there's really nothing better, in my book, than an artist meeting indifference with an even better performance. The audience at this show will always piss me off, but nothing can erase how good a performance it was.

Anybody got a bootleg?