Fun From 2001

I'm going through and getting all my old emails off of my old comptuer before I wipe the hard drive so its new owner will have some prayer of being able to use it.

I've got emails from exes, a whole folder of people's reactions to 9/11, and all sorts of other stuff. Every once in a while, I come across something really funny.

This was a conversation I had with my father when he was setting up his then-new apartment. He was trying to get some large planter pots onto his "terrace" (a.k.a. porch).

I emailed it to myself because it was too weird not to save:

Dad: Did I tell you the problem we had with the terrace pots?
Me: what happened to the terrace pots?
Dad: Four of the terrace pots were too big to get through the terrace door. To replace the door would cost $6,000. Use of a crane costs about 400, so a crane is coming tomorrow.
Me: you rented a CRANE?
Dad: Yep. The crane will be at the loft at 9 am
tomorrow. Sound like fun?
Me: this apartment has gone from absurd to downright surreal.

Official Poseur

I'm now an Official Hollywood Poseur: I've acquired mercandise for a generally rural company whose products I have little to no contact with, nor probably ever will.

I got a John Deere hat at work today. John Deere sent us a bunch of hats because their product was featured in a segment on the show.

Of course, it was a segment of Ellen and Mandy Moore mowing the NBC lawn with Deere riding mowers, because for some reason Ms. Moore really wanted to mow a lawn with a riding tractor before she turned 30.

Have I mentioned that I work in the Twilight Zone? If you want to see what I'm talking about, the segment will re-air tonight (thurs. night) at 11/10c on Oxygen.

But anyway, I got the hat, and when they were giving 'em out and I was like, "Ooh! I want one!" I realized that I have officially become a Hollywood Poseur.

I will clarify, however, that it is NOT a trucker hat. It's a normal hat. I have not lost my mind to the extent that I will wear trucker hats or anything emblazoned with the Von Dutch logo.

But here I am, wearing the John Deere hat as I type this.

I'm not sure whether Elisa's husband Ray, who actually fixes John Deere tractors for a living (and thus is one of the few people actually entitled to wear a John Deere hat without being mocked), would be proud or shaking his head at what an idiot I am.

S-M-R-T

You know what's really fuckin' smart is to stay up until 2am, even though

a) you were late to work partially because of oversleeping (and partially because the 101 freeway is a tool of the devil),

b) you wrote an entire spiel about lack of sleep yesterday, from which you obviousy learned nothing,

c) you've been half falling asleep since midnight, and

d) you have to get up early to get things done before work tomorrow.

Fuckin' MacArthur foundation genius grant material right over here, folks.

So Very Tired

Vacation backfired.

I've been incredibly tired for the last week, because during the two weeks we were on hiatus, I slept at least 10, usually 12 hours a day.

Now that I'm back at work, however, that's not so much an option, and I'm really starting to feel it. Especially the lack of an afternoon nap.

I'm still usually not getting to bed until at least 2, and I'm fighting my alarm clock with all my might, until I have to sprint out the door without breakfast or I'll be late.

It's like having some sort of really weird jetlag, but it's more like lazy lag: The laziness I develop when I don't have to do anything is pretty damn solid.

And of course, once you fall into a period of laziness, it's difficult to break, no matter what the cause. However, if it's voluntary, it's a lot harder to break.

I was basically stuck on the couch laying on my left side for 2 months after my two surgeries last year, and by the time I was able to go to work four weeks after my appendix came out, I was so ready to get out of the house I would have done anything to do so.

This time, however, it was a self-imposed slothdom. Voluntary immobilization is a lot harder to break out of, because you're only stuck at home because of your own laziness.

Hopefully, this will correct itself within the next couple of weeks. Of course, watch it correct itself only to have any possibility of a job at the show fall through and the cycle begin anew with unemployment.

But at least then it's involuntary, so it'll be easier to break when I get a job!

Hey, I'm trying to look on the bright side...

Weird

When I got my new computer, I went all-out and got a new all-in-one printer-scanner-copier-fax-photo printer-slicer-dicer-curer of cancer.

It's a wonderful little machine, but it has one really weird property: It rings whenever I get a phone call.

I suppose this makes sense for a fax machine, but it was a little bit of a surprise after setting it up last night to hear it ring when my dad called me this afternoon.

It's also a little disconcerting since because I have cordless phones (which take a second to start ringing), it will ring before my phones do. And its ring is a little different tone and a lot quieter than my phones'.

So I'll hear it start to ring and think, "What the fuck is that? Whose phone is that?" Then my phones will start to ring, and the confusion ceases.

Maybe I'm just way too easily confused.