Kahleefohnia!

Today's installment of Life Under the Governator: The ad currently airing asking people to vote for Propositions 57 and 58, some sort of balanced budget type thing.

The joke is not the issue. It's the commercial, and the hilarious contrast between the two men delivering the message. Enjoy.

Rainy Day

Okay, I'll grant you it's sunny 300 days a year here in Southern California, but when it rains for real, they don't fuck around.

It was raining so hard when I was driving home that I couldn't see more than about 100 feet in front of me for large chunks of my drive. It took me twice as long as normal to get home.

That, plus the pavement and drainage systems here were built for an area that's sunny 300 days a year. You're either flooded or hydroplaning all over the place, and that gets old on a 20-mile commute.

But it's all worth it, just to see the way that people here just lose their shit whenever precipitation arrives.

The "StormWatch 2004!" team was out in full force on all the local networks, which is highly entertaining to watch:

REPORTER 1: Yes Jim, I'm standing in a gigantic puddle of water here in Valley Village, holding onto an electrified cord attached to this microphone! I'm standing knee-deep in water and trying not to get electrocuted!"

ANCHOR: Thanks Tom, now we're going to Juan Garcia, out in the San Bernadino mountains with an update on the snowfall. Juan?

REPORTER 2: Gracias Jim, here in the mountains the snow is really starting to come down. I've been standing out here for hours now and I can't feel my legs!

Now looking at our oversized ruler, we can see that two inches of snow have fallen in the last ten minutes, and at this rate, I will be buried up to my neck by the 11 O'clock news.

ANCHOR: Thanks Juan, and folks, tune in at 11 to see an update from Juan's floating head.

I Lose

I thought I was cool because I visited all 50 states by the ripe old age of 22. This guy visited all 192 countries by the age of 23.

He wins.

It's On Now

I'm in for it: Now I get to deal with the actual audience on a daily basis instead of just calling people, which is what I've been doing up to this point.

One of the other members of my department is shifting to another show, so I'm getting thrown into the gaping maw of working directly with the audience.

This is definitely a good thing, because it means I get to actually move around for large parts of the day, and the sedentary life of calling several hundred people a day back can get a little laziness-inducing.

The downside is that now I get to hear every excuse, bribe, complaint, bitch, threat, whine, cry, and attempt at manipulation directly from each audience member, instead of just reading the complaints in the email.

Should be entertaining. Or deeply, deeply frightening.

GAAAAAH

I really don't think this will pass, considering how difficult and time-consuming it is to amend the constitution.

But if it does, mark my words, I am leaving this country. I don't know where I'll go, but I cannot live in a country that makes me and a hell of a lot of other people second-class citizens because of who we love.

I have got to stop watching the news in the morning. Ruins my damn day...

Happy (Early) Birthday To Meeeee

HBO gave me an early birthday present: Six Feet Under Season 2 is coming out on my birthday! Woo!

In Bed

Ah, the old fortune cookie game: Adding "in bed" to whatever fortune comes your way, and giggle like a 12-year-old at the results. The two I got this evening were rather entertaining:

"You will be unusually successful in business [in bed]."

"Magic will be created when an unconventional person comes to stay [in bed]."

This Is Getting Creepy

In the 1993 movie Demolition Man, there's a joke slipped in about the Schwarzenneger Presidential Library, and an explanation that he became president after his popularity as the governor of California led to the passage of a constitutional amendment allowing immigrants to run for president.

I thought it was bad enough when he became the Governator of Kahleefohnia, but this is starting to get scary.

I find it both amusing and disturbing that one of the more accurate predictions of the future in recent memory is a throwaway joke line from a so-bad-it's-good action movie.