People Are Dicks, Vol. 2

People are dicks when they commit two key, related fouls in the lap pool at the gym:

1. Taking up over 2/3 of the very large lane, leaving me a sliver in which to swim. For the most part, I was okay, but this dick was...

2. Still managing to flail so wildly as to lock arms with me abruptly as he passed me going the opposite direction, leaving a huge bruise on my bicep and wrenching my back-shoulder muscle. He also smacked into me another time, but that was more annoying than all-day painful.

The fact that he did this on a day when I was going to be schlepping coolers and cases of water and mountains of paper around all day made it all the more delightful.

Congratulations, sir of the complete lack of attention and/or boundaries. You're officially a dick.

And you owe me a bottle of Advil.

People Are Dicks, Vol. 1

Now begins a new feature here on Goat World, called People Are Dicks, in which I will be chronicling the ways both large and small in which people are dicks on an ongoing basis.

Today: People are dicks because they blow up something in the communal microwave, then let the shrapnel from this explosion burn onto the sides of the microwave, and then leave it overnight for someone else to clean up. Namely, me.

Congratulations, sir or madam of the exploding food. You're officially a dick.