Weekend Wrap-Up

I hopped the redeye to Cape Cod Friday night, and watched some Jons get married on Saturday. It was wonderful in so many ways.

The place Joel found us (thanks, Joel!) was fantastic, right on the water looking out into Nantucket Sound. It was a really gorgeous place to stay, it was incredibly fun to hang out with everyone, and it was such a nice break from the L.A. madness.

The wedding itself was beautiful, touching, and even hilarious. The dancing after the wedding was definitely hilarious, and I feel I made a nice drunken contribution to said hilarity.

In all seriousness, though, I hope to hell I find someone that makes me half as happy as the Jons obviously make each other. If I do, I'll consider myself incredibly lucky.

Although I lacked my camera, about 20 other people brought theirs, so there's no lack of documentation of the beauty of the weekend, both literal and metaphorical.

It was also my birthday on Sunday, and I'm pleased to note that for the first birthday since I turned 24, I managed to remain ambulatory for the entire day. It's those little victories that matter.

Speaking of little victories, I took no small amount of joy out of the fact that the Lakers choked both Friday AND Sunday against the Celtics.

I was slightly disappointed I couldn't find a "Lakers Suck!" shirt to wear around L.A. all week, but I suppose that given the general agressiveness and assholishness of Lakers fans, not finding said shirt reduces my chances of getting beat up and/or shot.

All in all, I had a really great weekend, and spent my day off today recovering from the whole thing in order to go into a truly delightful next three weeks of six-day weeks and a full shooting schedule.

Posting will be light for a bit, save the occasional complaint about how ridiculously goddamn tired I am.

On Behalf of the Laker-Haters

Be they basketball non-fans like myself or (shudder) Clippers fans, I would like to just say to all the asshat Laker fans whose chronic dickitude has become overwhelming during the playoffs this year: Ha-ha!

Also, I hope you lose the next three straight, like you did in '04 against the Pistons in the Finals.

I may not give a flying fuck about professional basketball, but I remember well when the Lakers choke, because I hate their jerkass fans SO MUCH.

Yikes

This probably wasn't the most dignified way for the Caps to wind up tying their playoff game last night:



Note the guy that falls over: He took a direct hit to the family jewels with the puck, and now the poor bastard might wind up minus one of them.

Yow. Even being a Caps fan, I'm not sure that play shouldn't have been blown dead before Mike Green scored. I think it happened too fast for the refs to realize what had happened, but still, sucks for the Flyers.

Thanks(?) to Deadspin for the tip.

This Can't Be Right

But I'll enjoy it while it lasts:


So confused...Orioles...winning? Bwah?

Super Duper Bowl

Now THAT was a great Super Bowl. Probably one of the few I've really gotten emotionally involved in since the last time the 'Skins won, and that was a looooong time ago.

But how could you not? After Eli Manning somehow managed to escape a tackle, put up a huge throw, and then have David Tyree catch the ball against his helmet, with a guy trying to wrench it from him with all his might.

That single play was, to my recollection, the craziest football play I've ever seen, even crazier than when Boise State won the Fiesta Bowl with a fucking Statue of Liberty play a couple years ago.

To turn around from looking like you're completely fucked, making that play, and then Plaxico Burress absolutely blowing away the defender for the TD on the next one, you had to love the Giants.

The people who came to my house to watch the game started out, by and large, not particularly caring who won. A few wanted to see the Pats lose, just to fuck with their perfect season, but there wasn't a lot of emotion.

But as the seconds ticked off while Tom Brady repeatedly launched the ball down the field, everyone was rooting hard-core for the Giants. We were all on the edge of our seats, then we celebrated as if we had been rooting for them for years.

That's why I love sports: When you see such incredible feats and get completely caught up in the emotion, there's nothing better. Even if you didn't start out rooting for someone, great games and great players and especially great plays will make you care.

Really, really fantastic game.

Bowling Notes

From last night's Office vs. Set Bowl Off: Where Strikes Are A Good Thing.

- Bowling is really hard if you've injured the foot you have to plant.

- If you have injured that foot, bowling becomes a lot easier if you just muscle the ball from off your good foot, even though it may fuck with your shoulder a bit.

- Teamsters are excellent bowlers.

- Watching rarely-drinking friends getting wasted off of one drink is even more fun when bowling is involved than at a normal party.

- Watching your co-workers jump up and down like five year olds whenever they get a strike is hilarious.

We're totally challenging another show as soon as the writers' strike is over.

On A Lighter, More Baseball-Related Note...

Two bits of post-World Series amusement, firstly from The Onion's Sports department:

Colorado Rockies: 'What The Fuck Just Happened?'

and, courtesy of Mark, one of my favorite interweb videos in some time, answering the above question:

A Call For Koreans

Because I would love a translation and/or explanation for the following video of Korean baseball teams fighting:

glumbert - Hold your feet! Korean baseball gets strange

Although I have to admit, I think I would enjoy it very much if the next time Barry Bonds gets hit by a pitch, he just started hopping out to the mound on one foot, ready to bowl someone over in a chicken-fight.

Courtesy Dave Barry's Blog, who suggests that perhaps it's time for a different sort of drug investigation in Korean baseball.

Interwebs!

Not only interwebs, but the return of SPECTACULAR HD to the Gigantic Damn Television, on which I am currently watching Oregon stomp Michigan, and laaaaaaaaughing and laughing.

The only problem is that I think I am going to need a bionic left foot. Anyone have a spare?

Oh, O's...

Typed words were simply not enough.

Click to listen, it's under three minutes.

Funny or Sad?

Because either way, it's true:

Barry Bonds Home-Run Scandal Somehow Becomes Feel-Good Sports Story Of Summer

SAN FRANCISCO—Although Barry Bonds remains the target of criticism over his possible—some say almost certain—use of performance-enhancing substances, the fact that Bonds has not been implicated in dogfighting, nightclub...

Best quote?

"Bonds is not exactly my hero," said Braves fan Bradley Hanson, who flew to San Francisco for Monday night's Braves game in order to pointedly not boo Bonds. "But he's a reminder that in these troubled times for sports, there are still players whose crimes are simple, pure, and only tarnish our beloved sport and everything it stands for without killing anybody."

Quack

Sorry, Canada.

Yay, Teemu Selane! The man with the second best name in hockey (after Miroslav Satan, who really needs to be traded to the New Jersey Devils) now has his name on the Stanley Cup.

Brilliant

I don't know how many of you have been following the story of John Amaechi, the first former NBA player to officially come out.

However, if you have, you will thoroughly enjoy the Onion's merciless take on the story:

John Amaechi Comes Out As Former NBA Player

STOCKPORT, ENGLAND—British homosexual John Amaechi sent shockwaves throughout the sporting world last week when he announced, much to the surprise of his family and friends—in addition to NBA players and fans—that he lived a...

Kids: Wise Beyond Their Years

While pursuing Deadspin today, I ran across this video of some of my fellow 'Skins fans expressing their frustration with the team this year:

Sadly for these kids, when I was their age, the 'Skins won two Super Bowls over the course of four years. I think they're going to have to wait a while for that.

Oh My

If you are a rabid sports fan, you have probably already seen this site. If you are not, or even if you are, and have not seen it yet, click the link and prepare yourself for some amusement while the video loads.

Make sure you stick around after the demonstration for a most hilarious mispronunciation of the word testicles.

Courtesy Fark and Deadspin.

For Laz

Whose Mets beat the team upon whose bandwagon I have jumped (the Dodgers) today:

Confident Pedro Martinez Performs Own Rotator-Cuff Surgery

Onion Sports Fun

Today they poke a bit of fun at one of my childhood heroes:

Cal Ripken Jr. Moves Into 8 Billionth Place On Consecutive-Games-Not-Played List

BALTIMORE—Cal Ripken Jr. celebrated a new milestone in his not-playing-baseball career on Tuesday as he moved into 8 billionth place on the...

Dear Northwestern Football

I want you to write I will not lose to a 1-AA team filling every blackboard and whiteboard on campus.

Then I want you to start taking EVERY game seriously, you schmucks.

NU Football Fun

Link dump!

Laz finds the most appropriately named NU Football reporter ever and ESPN reports on what is perhaps the oddest tribute to Randy Walker NU could possibly have come up with.