Adventures In Goat World
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Friday, May 09, 2008
Well, THAT Was Fun
Normally it takes me 45 minutes to get from Santa Monica to Santa Clarita. Today, it took me 1 hour, 35 minutes.
15 minutes spent just getting ON the 405 freeway to go north, because for no apparent reason, the 10E-405N interchange was ridiculously backed up.
Then after I finally broke free of that, I got right past the last exit before you go down the hill towards the 101 when traffic ground to a complete halt.
Just under two miles and just over 35 minutes later, I finally passed the source: A flipped-on-its-side pickup truck, along with the Scion that apparently hit it (whose entire front end had been reduced to a six-inch scrunch of metal) and a Lexus that glanced off it with more moderate damage.
The whole thing closed down three of the six lanes of the 405, right before the giant mess of the 405-101 interchange. It was staggeringly awesome.
15 minutes spent just getting ON the 405 freeway to go north, because for no apparent reason, the 10E-405N interchange was ridiculously backed up.
Then after I finally broke free of that, I got right past the last exit before you go down the hill towards the 101 when traffic ground to a complete halt.
Just under two miles and just over 35 minutes later, I finally passed the source: A flipped-on-its-side pickup truck, along with the Scion that apparently hit it (whose entire front end had been reduced to a six-inch scrunch of metal) and a Lexus that glanced off it with more moderate damage.
The whole thing closed down three of the six lanes of the 405, right before the giant mess of the 405-101 interchange. It was staggeringly awesome.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Only In L.A.
The picture is so beautiful all it needs is a caption:
This idiot shut down the busiest freeway in Southern California for half an hour, tying up traffic in both directions for hours.
That's what one drunk and/or high schmuck can do to this city. God help us if Al-Qaeda gets their hands on a nudist colony.
A nude man is apprehended on the 405 freeway around noon today after he was seen running in freeway lanes near Sunset Blvd.
This idiot shut down the busiest freeway in Southern California for half an hour, tying up traffic in both directions for hours.
That's what one drunk and/or high schmuck can do to this city. God help us if Al-Qaeda gets their hands on a nudist colony.
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Dear Morons
To the construction workers at working on that new building just east of Olympic and Bundy:
I realize that when you build a building, you have to bring in a large number of steel beams. However, I'd like to request that you do two things for me and my fellow commuters in the future.
1. Don't schedule the steel beams to arrive at 7:45 in the morning, or really at any point between 7 and 9am, also known as Rush Hour.
2. Don't have the truck carrying the steel beams be driven by someone who obviously very recently got their trucking license.
It was fun to sit and twiddle my thumbs on Olympic for 15 minutes while you tried - 12 times before I fucking lost count - to back the truck laden with beams onto the construction site.
I realize my fellow commuters weren't helping by leaning on their horns, but I certainly understand their desire to express their frustration.
Seriously, do not pull that shit during rush hour again or I will get out of my car and steal your little hand-held stop sign and beat you about the head with it.
Love and kisses,
Ellen
I realize that when you build a building, you have to bring in a large number of steel beams. However, I'd like to request that you do two things for me and my fellow commuters in the future.
1. Don't schedule the steel beams to arrive at 7:45 in the morning, or really at any point between 7 and 9am, also known as Rush Hour.
2. Don't have the truck carrying the steel beams be driven by someone who obviously very recently got their trucking license.
It was fun to sit and twiddle my thumbs on Olympic for 15 minutes while you tried - 12 times before I fucking lost count - to back the truck laden with beams onto the construction site.
I realize my fellow commuters weren't helping by leaning on their horns, but I certainly understand their desire to express their frustration.
Seriously, do not pull that shit during rush hour again or I will get out of my car and steal your little hand-held stop sign and beat you about the head with it.
Love and kisses,
Ellen
Labels: dumbasses, L.A., open letters, traffic
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Old vs. New
A brief comparison of my old and new apartments, and the neighborhoods containing them:
Time to Work
Old: 20-35 minutes, depending on traffic.
New: 10-15 minutes, depending on traffic.
Winner: New
Flooring
Old: Grody, easily stained and horrific to clean carpet.
New: Hardwood floors.
Winner: New
Kitchen
Old: Termite-infested cabinets, linoleum from the 70's, barely enough room to turn around.
New: Brand new everything, marble floor, granite countertops, decent size.
Winner: New
Bathroom
Old: Tiny, with the sink and mirror in the hall for some reason.
New: Still fairly small, but self-contained. Marble tile on the floor and in the shower, brand new fixtures.
Winner: New.
Bedroom
Old: Large room, tiny closet.
New: Moderate size room, huge closet (which I've basically turned into a storage area.
Winner: Draw.
Owner/Management of Building
Old: Extremely sketchy company that is quite possibly a front for the Russian mob (How many legit property management companies do you know that operate out of a PO Box?).
New: Single owner that people have actually seen, using a property management company with actual offices.
Winner: New
Closest Fast Food Restaurant
Old: In-N-Out
New: KFC
Winner: Old.
Closest Store
Old: Costco
New: 99¢ Only
Winner: New
Closest School
Old: Massive public high school, right out my window.
New: Language magnet school four blocks away.
Winner: New
Distance From Beach
Old: 1.7 miles
New: 2.3 miles
Winner: Old
Cat Control
Old: Cat couldn't get out of the building, could only see other cats in the building.
New: Cat keeps trying to run out the door into the neighborhood every time I leave the house, other cats come to the window and mock him until he starts yowling at them.
Winner: Old.
Tangent alert! I took Chaplin to get chipped this morning, and I found it odd to be putting a chip in him the week we aired an episode with a kid trying to cut a chip out.
Parking
Old: Gated and underground, but with a tendency for the gate to get stuck at inconvenient times.
New: Off street.
Winner: Old, but not by much.
Vertical Transportation
Old: Elevator, prone to breakdowns and squeaking like a crying child.
New: One flight of stairs.
Winner: Draw.
Bottom line, there are a few things about the old place that I'll miss, but the new place is far, far ahead in all the areas I really give a shit about. And I probably shouldn't live two blocks from an In-N-Out Burger anyway.
Time to Work
Old: 20-35 minutes, depending on traffic.
New: 10-15 minutes, depending on traffic.
Winner: New
Flooring
Old: Grody, easily stained and horrific to clean carpet.
New: Hardwood floors.
Winner: New
Kitchen
Old: Termite-infested cabinets, linoleum from the 70's, barely enough room to turn around.
New: Brand new everything, marble floor, granite countertops, decent size.
Winner: New
Bathroom
Old: Tiny, with the sink and mirror in the hall for some reason.
New: Still fairly small, but self-contained. Marble tile on the floor and in the shower, brand new fixtures.
Winner: New.
Bedroom
Old: Large room, tiny closet.
New: Moderate size room, huge closet (which I've basically turned into a storage area.
Winner: Draw.
Owner/Management of Building
Old: Extremely sketchy company that is quite possibly a front for the Russian mob (How many legit property management companies do you know that operate out of a PO Box?).
New: Single owner that people have actually seen, using a property management company with actual offices.
Winner: New
Closest Fast Food Restaurant
Old: In-N-Out
New: KFC
Winner: Old.
Closest Store
Old: Costco
New: 99¢ Only
Winner: New
Closest School
Old: Massive public high school, right out my window.
New: Language magnet school four blocks away.
Winner: New
Distance From Beach
Old: 1.7 miles
New: 2.3 miles
Winner: Old
Cat Control
Old: Cat couldn't get out of the building, could only see other cats in the building.
New: Cat keeps trying to run out the door into the neighborhood every time I leave the house, other cats come to the window and mock him until he starts yowling at them.
Winner: Old.
Tangent alert! I took Chaplin to get chipped this morning, and I found it odd to be putting a chip in him the week we aired an episode with a kid trying to cut a chip out.
Parking
Old: Gated and underground, but with a tendency for the gate to get stuck at inconvenient times.
New: Off street.
Winner: Old, but not by much.
Vertical Transportation
Old: Elevator, prone to breakdowns and squeaking like a crying child.
New: One flight of stairs.
Winner: Draw.
Bottom line, there are a few things about the old place that I'll miss, but the new place is far, far ahead in all the areas I really give a shit about. And I probably shouldn't live two blocks from an In-N-Out Burger anyway.
